Starting another week

Wow, looks like I'm not laid off- but the month is still young. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Damn the man!

I spent almost the entire weekend in the hospital visiting my uncle & family-

One of my grandfathers brother, my favorite great uncle, finally succumbed to cancer and is in a hospice wing of the small town hospital.  It's really messed up- he's been a farmer since the 50's raising chickens and then cows then hybrid corn and soybeans.  Seems that all those years of being out in the sun have cost him- he has melanoma (skin cancer) but it's in his liver 5 or six large tumors that are literally eating him alive.  I love that old cranky man, but kept a brave face on when I first heard he was taken to the hospital- he'd been unable to move or speak for a few hours and his wife wasn't able to get any response from him- He was in and out of conscious while we sat in the small room the hospital provided for gtreiving families next to the "Death Room" or "Hospice Care and Grieving family suite". Every time though that he was aware he still knew who was in the room. He told me

"wisht I was sitting out there" he's funny.

It's a long running joke between us- for years every time I see him (almost every weekend I live about 5 miles away) he'd say "Wisht I was young like you" then he'd poke fun at me or FW for a little while- maybe show me a new clock he'd been working on.  No matter how late you stayed he'd always say "You don't have to run off" Funny growing up when I was much younger he's always say the same thing to everyone who stopped by- only back in the day he'd say "let me get this done then we can talk for real" and he'd go on with his chores whether it was milking or haying and when he got done, usually pretty late, he'd be ready to talk the night away regardless of him needing to be awake again at 4 or 5 the next morning to do it again.

He's only got a few more days to live- he's had nothing more than a few sips of broth or water over the last 2 weeks, his fall has been so fast, so much faster than even the doctor anticipated, but to see such a strong, hard working, lovable guy like that brought so low it seems like it's stretching on forever, all we can do is hope he can go ahead and let go of his body- but that stubborn old man just won't.  My grandfather was the same- they both just fought too hard their whole lives, and when cancer took them both they just didn't know how to lie down and just give in.

I guess this isn't the best way to start the day, but I'm realizing this is the first time I've been alone to think in days. 

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