Hating the rage waves

Like riding a surfboard right up into the rocks and pylons. You feel it going wrong, steering slowed and just starts you spinning but you are already in the current.  There's no way to avoid those jagged enemies of your skin, all the frantic paddling now will only tire your arms, you need them fresh if you're just about to try to swim out from under the raging white water. Already your knees, your prominent ankle bones are scraped and raw, something floating in the water rasps against you gone before you realize it was ground you might orient on because you're tumbling end over end bouncing the hard parts of yourself, gouging the soft.  Anyone near you at this point will suffer the same fate you can;t help  but to lash out drag them down with you because this deep into the powerful current there's nothing but instinct and terror.

 The doctor says this simple pill can fix this, this condition I don't remember having before I took the pills.  I was always a little manic, always a deep black funk waiting to happen, but was I ever this lost?  Example was moving my stuff and the powercord on my laptop caught the corner of the table.  Irritated I back up and while freeing it I drop my laptop, now I'm not even angry so much as terrified and tears form in my eyes, I don't even dare open it yet because as soon as I pick it up I want to throw it as hard as I can for daring to fall. I want to bite through the godd@mn power cord for daring to get stuck. I want to curl up and die because it's easier for me than crying.  I take my pills again and in a half hour my girlfriend dares to talk to me again because I'm like a wounded animal at theses times and I'll snap at anyone.