I think I've actually managed to work hard today...
Unusual for me, my job is more repetition than anything else..
Ok- back in time to the recurring dream..

I'm in my father's living room sitting up on the back of the sofa looking at the sliding glass window onto the porch, but it's just a square white glow. My father comes into the room towards me and I know I'm not supposed to be up on the sofa like I am but I can't slide down because he's blocking me. His voice starts soft and reasonable but I don't understand what he's saying. He's trying to reach out and grab my arm but he doesn't. His voice starts to rise in volume like someone is slowly turning up a stereo and his face is getting redder and redder and he seems to be leaning over me. I feel small and scared and can feel my penis start to shrink and I think I'm going to wet myself.
His voice slowly lowers and he turns away, I feel great relief but then he's playing with lego blocks on the floor with my two brothers and he's laughing and happy. He turns his head towards me and his face almost seems to snarl and his voice starts to rise again louder and louder and I feel the coarse weave of the sofa pressing into the backs of my legs. My knees shake and feel weak and I try to grab a hold of the sofa to stop myself from falling but it's too firm and my hands slide over it. Dad is leaning over me again and I can see spit forming on one corner of his mouth and he's yelling words at me that I don't understand then his voice starts to lower again until he's just talking then he turns and starts tickling my brother and they are playing and I'm afraid to attract his attention by moving so I stand there very quiet.