Memories, the dusty corner or my mind blotchy water colored memories of the way we were... I think those are the words.. The song almost seems to jagged to fit, but that's only in the writing.. The singing as will all of Babs, makes me want to bang my head against a wall, born to play in elevators and dentist offices.. These are a few of my favorite things.........To avoid........
Freshman year high school, just 6 months away from my growth spurt and the freedom being suddenly larger than everyone around you provides.. Usually growth spurts are more awkward, but I'm lucky and do most of my growing on my Great-Uncle Tom's farm where I spend most of the summer trying to be a man.. I probably didn't do as much work as they would like but I was only thirteen..
As usual I'm lunching alone, I never was lucky enough to have lunch with any of my friends so instead of sitting inside trying to hide I go out into the parking lot. All the kids come out in groups some play wall ball some sit around talking. I sit on a curb across from the cafeteria with a small bag of chips.. For some reason I attract someone's attention and now I'm staring at the front of someone's knees and a voice says "you better not eat those chips here or I'll kick the bag down your throat."
Instantly I have the cold sweat and trembling leg sensation I'm almost constantly feeling, and my throat just closed up. I look up at some random upper classman who I don't recall any features about, and in pitiful defiance I lift another chip to my mouth and slowly chew it. My mouth is dry, I couldn't swallow the chip I'm chewing to safe my life, and I can't stand up because it seems too challenging and the guy towers over me seeming twice my size. He might want to fight if I stand up but I feel really pathetic sitting there staring up at him chewing that chip. He draws back his foot soccer style like he's just about to kick my and I'm staring at his eyes. I don't know what he though but he barked a short laugh and said
"Stupid freshman" and walked back to his group of friends laughing.
I wonder now what I would see if I were to look into his eyes like that again. Was he seriously thinking of kicking me? Was he scared I'd force him into carrying out his threat.. I don't even know who he is. He is just another random almost bully who didn't like that I could not back down.
Freshman year high school, just 6 months away from my growth spurt and the freedom being suddenly larger than everyone around you provides.. Usually growth spurts are more awkward, but I'm lucky and do most of my growing on my Great-Uncle Tom's farm where I spend most of the summer trying to be a man.. I probably didn't do as much work as they would like but I was only thirteen..
As usual I'm lunching alone, I never was lucky enough to have lunch with any of my friends so instead of sitting inside trying to hide I go out into the parking lot. All the kids come out in groups some play wall ball some sit around talking. I sit on a curb across from the cafeteria with a small bag of chips.. For some reason I attract someone's attention and now I'm staring at the front of someone's knees and a voice says "you better not eat those chips here or I'll kick the bag down your throat."
Instantly I have the cold sweat and trembling leg sensation I'm almost constantly feeling, and my throat just closed up. I look up at some random upper classman who I don't recall any features about, and in pitiful defiance I lift another chip to my mouth and slowly chew it. My mouth is dry, I couldn't swallow the chip I'm chewing to safe my life, and I can't stand up because it seems too challenging and the guy towers over me seeming twice my size. He might want to fight if I stand up but I feel really pathetic sitting there staring up at him chewing that chip. He draws back his foot soccer style like he's just about to kick my and I'm staring at his eyes. I don't know what he though but he barked a short laugh and said
"Stupid freshman" and walked back to his group of friends laughing.
I wonder now what I would see if I were to look into his eyes like that again. Was he seriously thinking of kicking me? Was he scared I'd force him into carrying out his threat.. I don't even know who he is. He is just another random almost bully who didn't like that I could not back down.
posted by Goodkingalan @ 3:01 PM
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