Every time someone in my family (brothers, sisters, friends) meets one of my girlfriends, (or some new friend of mine, or someone I work with, or some stranger in a bar) they find it necessary to bring out the same head deflating story. So in the interest of me not having to sit through endless snorting and giggling and oh so hysterical exaggerations, I am showcasing this story for everyone else in the world. That way if they start to tell it, someone will say "oh I already heard that. It's like an urban legend" and the curse of this childhood trauma will be lifted.
When I was between 10 and 12 my Dad used to always take us camping as a family. We always invited a friend or two to go with us, mainly so we would not Bug Pops so much. One such trip landed us in PA in a state forest camping with my best friend along. We were charged with getting water to bring back to the campsite. For this we had a large blue 6 gallon water container. I was a scrawny thing and couldn't really carry 6 gallons of water farther than a foot or two, and though my best friend was strong enough to carry it, the water pump was almost a 1/2 mile from the campsite. Dad never drove anywhere once we were camping, I think if we had lost a limb and were bleeding out he'd slap a turnstone on and try to pack us out, not even thinking of driving..
Anyway..
We had a aluminum furniture dolly we were using to carry the water jug, it worked great on the road, but the tiny hard plastic wheels caught on every twig, rock, or root we passed. Finally my friend got sick of fighting with the stupid carte and we unhooked it and he carried it the rest of the way. The jug was attached by a bungee cord, when I took the jug off I didn't secure the cord and it was dragging along behind me as I towed the cart.
Let me pause here to say that as a boy I was petrified of snakes...
Nothing was scarier, not even big bad Dad..
So I hear a slithering noise and look back and what do I see? A speckled snake *(never mind the color) that was chasing me. I screamed a very high pitched pre puberty perfect soprano scream and took off running. The snake followed me! It was keeping up. I was sobbing and gasping and screaming "snake!! A snake!!" leaving my friend well behind me I headed straight for camp. My mother "the nurse" had heard my scream and was on her way towards the path in the woods when I burst into the campsite. Instinctively I ran behind my mother, I knew she'd protect me. From around the other side of her legs I saw the snake circle around her! Still chasing me! I screamed another horrifying scream of terror and ran a few circles around my Mother before she grabbed me and stopped me, pointed at the snake and .....LAUGHED!
No. I did not let go of the cart.
Yes. I was almost eaten by the "Bungee Cobra"
Yes. Everyone laughed. For hours. And Hours.
Yes, I did have nightmares for weeks about being chased by snakes.
Yes, I did have nightmares about my parents watching me get bitten by snakes and laughing.
So, anybody else want to tell this story? Let me know I'll send you a copy..
When I was between 10 and 12 my Dad used to always take us camping as a family. We always invited a friend or two to go with us, mainly so we would not Bug Pops so much. One such trip landed us in PA in a state forest camping with my best friend along. We were charged with getting water to bring back to the campsite. For this we had a large blue 6 gallon water container. I was a scrawny thing and couldn't really carry 6 gallons of water farther than a foot or two, and though my best friend was strong enough to carry it, the water pump was almost a 1/2 mile from the campsite. Dad never drove anywhere once we were camping, I think if we had lost a limb and were bleeding out he'd slap a turnstone on and try to pack us out, not even thinking of driving..
Anyway..
We had a aluminum furniture dolly we were using to carry the water jug, it worked great on the road, but the tiny hard plastic wheels caught on every twig, rock, or root we passed. Finally my friend got sick of fighting with the stupid carte and we unhooked it and he carried it the rest of the way. The jug was attached by a bungee cord, when I took the jug off I didn't secure the cord and it was dragging along behind me as I towed the cart.
Let me pause here to say that as a boy I was petrified of snakes...
Nothing was scarier, not even big bad Dad..
So I hear a slithering noise and look back and what do I see? A speckled snake *(never mind the color) that was chasing me. I screamed a very high pitched pre puberty perfect soprano scream and took off running. The snake followed me! It was keeping up. I was sobbing and gasping and screaming "snake!! A snake!!" leaving my friend well behind me I headed straight for camp. My mother "the nurse" had heard my scream and was on her way towards the path in the woods when I burst into the campsite. Instinctively I ran behind my mother, I knew she'd protect me. From around the other side of her legs I saw the snake circle around her! Still chasing me! I screamed another horrifying scream of terror and ran a few circles around my Mother before she grabbed me and stopped me, pointed at the snake and .....LAUGHED!
No. I did not let go of the cart.
Yes. I was almost eaten by the "Bungee Cobra"
Yes. Everyone laughed. For hours. And Hours.
Yes, I did have nightmares for weeks about being chased by snakes.
Yes, I did have nightmares about my parents watching me get bitten by snakes and laughing.
So, anybody else want to tell this story? Let me know I'll send you a copy..
posted by Goodkingalan @ 1:15 PM
2 Comments:
At 5:09 PM ,
thehotlibrarian said...
That story is awesome. If it makes you feel any better, I was scared by a washcloth that my brother told me was a bat. He kept making the washcloth swoop through my hair in a very bat-like fashion. I cried like the little girl that I was.
At 7:24 PM ,
L said...
ohmygawd that is so funny
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